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Friday, April 10, 2009
India has been here with me for Spring Break all week. It's been a bittersweet occasion for me. It's always wonderful to see her, but I haven't really seen her much at all.
I was looking forward to having company on the trip back from NC to VA last Sunday, but she slept the entire time. We got here and she immediately wanted to go spend the night with her best friend. I hated it, but I'm not such an old fossil that I don't know how important friends are to teenagers.
I desperately wished I could have taken off more this week, but I have no vacation time and I need my full week's pay. Plus I'm working long days. I'm out the door at 5:30 AM and I'm not home until after 5 PM. So India ended up spending the nights with her friend from Sunday to Wednesday night.
I wanted her home, but if I insisted I would lose my 'Cool Dad' status. And we are cool parents. Tanya and I have taken the kids to rock shows and horror conventions. We like cool music and movies and things and we turn the kids on to wild stuff that they aren't likely to find anywhere else. India says her friends are jealous.
But I have off Fridays and I was stoked about last night. We were going to hit our favorite drive-in restaurant for cheeseburgers and fries and I wanted to take a long walk with her. That's one thing she and I always have done together.
I picked her up at around 4:30 yesterday afternoon and took her to the house, where she promptly went to sleep and she slept until 7:00 this morning. Obviously she and her friend weren't doing a lot of sleeping.
But today we'd walk and get breakfast and do some shopping! Walking was out however. Both India and I are allergic to pollen and the season is on us. We did have breakfast and went to some stores. I bought India a couple of books and a CD.
We came here and she wanted to go back to her friend's house. I know that I looked disappointed and India hugged me, but still wanted to go. I allowed her. Before she left she said I was the best father ever. I smiled and asked what made me so good (I was feeling sorry for myself). She said, For all the love, for the humor, for always being there, for providing and perhaps most of all, for teaching her to love books. India adores reading and most of her friends don't. She feels sorry for them.
I'm so happy that I've been able to pass on the legacy of reading to my kids. Europa loves to read too. I'm grateful that I've been able to pass on the wonder, the passion, the marvels of the printed word.
I'm lonely for India and I wish we were spending more time together, but you have to let teenagers be teenagers. Their friends are so important to them. It hurts, but it's natural.
Tomorrow I'll be driving India back to Raleigh and there's no doubt in my mind that she'll sleep during the entire trip. All I can do is sadly chuckle.
Note: I assume that everyone here is familiar with my situation and that's almost certainly wrong. For the curious, India is my stepdaughter. I met her mother at DragonCon '99 and we were married the following year. We had a tragic separation in early November 2008 and they moved to another state. We're now working toward a reconciliation.
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