Sunday, December 07, 2008
I'm a book buyer and a book reader. I probably buy at least one book a week. Some weeks are ridiculous. I might spend 50-60 dollars on the written word.
Same with movies. I buy at least one a week. Often more.
It's been at least a month since I've made a purchase. Not only that, I'm not really reading or watching movies either. Oh, I put movies on, but they're old favorites and almost backgrounds while I fold clothes or do exercises. I've tried to read a dozen or two books, but I can't focus. It's hard when your life has collapsed.
It's like any addiction. I have this urge to slide over to Amazon and order something. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just a used book or something. It's almost a physical attraction. Buying or getting packages in the mail.
Or browsing at a brick and mortar bookstore. Checking out the New Releases and bargain DVD bins at WalMart. It's one of my very favorite things to do. I think I actually enjoy the process of buying the stuff as much as reading and watching.
Hell, this message board stuff is another one. I've avoided the computer desk for the past few weeks. I regret all the time I spent here when I could have, should have, been loving my wife and kids.
I've got to learn to stop being so obsessive. It's possible to balance it all out.
I thought hard about shutting the Drive-In down. I feel like I have nothing more to say and I am growing increasingly out of touch with the small press and with the current movie scene. My head is in the past. I guess that's common for older people like me. Heck, the only book I've been able to focus on in the last week has been Stephen King's It.
I've been doing this message board stuff for over ten years now. That's a big chunk of my life. Too many hours in front of this contraption. But I don't quite think I'm ready to retire yet.