Why? Why do I do this to myself. I am an intelligent man. I know a good movie, or a great one, when I see it. I know horror. I don't read crappy old Zebra horror paperbacks. I love Val Lewton movies and I don't love Rob Zombie.
So why would I watch something as low as Don't Go in the Woods...Alone?
I suppose I have a perverse desire to watch every slasher movie. At least from the original days of the movement. I'm not about to sit through the hundreds of independent things made in this century.
I thought Girl's Nite Out is bad. It is bad, but Don't Go in the Woods...Alone is a thousandfold worse.
Think of the lowest Herschell Gordon Lewis movie. Or Orgy of the Dead. I'm talking bad like Robot Ninja or Zombie Rampage. If you do not know these so-called movies, consider yourself fortunate.
Don't Go in the Woods...Alone is an outdoor slasher movie, but don't expect The Hills Have Eyes or Rituals. Don't expect Madman or Just Before Dawn. It's even worse than Scalps.
A group of goofballs are out camping and Wildman is out to kill them. No explanations, no background, no logic.
Your buddy's iPhone videos probably look better. The acting isn't even bad. Bad I can live with. This is like drunken idiots pretending to act.
There are deaths galore, I'll give it that. A lot of Sherwin-Williams blood is shown, but not much in the way of real effects.
Wildman is overcome by the end, but you wish he'd kill more imbeciles. The amateur crew lets a toddler play with a hatchet in the final shot, giving viewers a would-be chilling peek at a sequel that never was to be.
Don't Go in the Woods...Alone played on a handful of screens, regional drive-ins mostly, before disappearing into oblivion. Home video came along a few years later and anything with a catchy title got released. Great Britain gave the movie undeserved publicity when it made the Video Nasty list.
I gave Don't Go in the Woods...Alone two stars in my movie journal because I chuckled a few times. It's funny. They were trying to make a comedy...right?
Written by Mark Sieber
So why would I watch something as low as Don't Go in the Woods...Alone?
I suppose I have a perverse desire to watch every slasher movie. At least from the original days of the movement. I'm not about to sit through the hundreds of independent things made in this century.

I thought Girl's Nite Out is bad. It is bad, but Don't Go in the Woods...Alone is a thousandfold worse.
Think of the lowest Herschell Gordon Lewis movie. Or Orgy of the Dead. I'm talking bad like Robot Ninja or Zombie Rampage. If you do not know these so-called movies, consider yourself fortunate.
Don't Go in the Woods...Alone is an outdoor slasher movie, but don't expect The Hills Have Eyes or Rituals. Don't expect Madman or Just Before Dawn. It's even worse than Scalps.
A group of goofballs are out camping and Wildman is out to kill them. No explanations, no background, no logic.
Your buddy's iPhone videos probably look better. The acting isn't even bad. Bad I can live with. This is like drunken idiots pretending to act.
There are deaths galore, I'll give it that. A lot of Sherwin-Williams blood is shown, but not much in the way of real effects.
Wildman is overcome by the end, but you wish he'd kill more imbeciles. The amateur crew lets a toddler play with a hatchet in the final shot, giving viewers a would-be chilling peek at a sequel that never was to be.
Don't Go in the Woods...Alone played on a handful of screens, regional drive-ins mostly, before disappearing into oblivion. Home video came along a few years later and anything with a catchy title got released. Great Britain gave the movie undeserved publicity when it made the Video Nasty list.
I gave Don't Go in the Woods...Alone two stars in my movie journal because I chuckled a few times. It's funny. They were trying to make a comedy...right?
Written by Mark Sieber
The author does not allow comments to this entry
No comments