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Wednesday, July 01, 2009
 The Dedication to Vanilla Ride reads as such:
For all you Hap and Leonard fans. Bless your little weird hearts.
Who you calling weird, Lansdale?
If that's true, there's a lot of weird people out there. The Hap and Leonard books are among the most universally loved pieces of fiction I've ever known about. I've turned a lot of people on to them and every one has loved them. Every single individual. Even those that either don't read or barely read. They love Hap and Leonard.
I got on board early and I bought Savage Season immediately upon its publication. I was already a huge fan and had been since the first book I read by Joe, which was The Drive-In. I was later blown away by other Lansdale works like The Magic Wagon, Act of Love, Dead in the West and especially Cold in July. But Savage Season was special. Its lead characters captured my heart and it became an instant favorite.
Luckily for Joe's readers, Savage Season was not the last time we would see Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. They returned in Mucho Mojo and again in The Two-Bear Mambo. Over the course of eleven years six Hap and Leonard novels were published. The ones I named as well as Bad Chili, Rumble Tumble and Captains Outrageous. And they also made an appearance or two in short stories.
Then there was a hiatus in which there were no novels coming out about the baddest pair of Texas ne'er do wells since Augustus McCrea and Woodrow Call. Captains Outrageous was released in 2001 and the fans had to wait a long eight years before Hap and Leonard resurfaced. Which they just have, in a new novel called Vanilla Ride.
A new novel and a new publisher. Now Joe is putting out books with the prestigious Alfred A. Knopf Publishing House and it's a suitable home for his awesome skills.
The first question interested parties are likely to ask is, was Vanilla Ride the wait? My answer is, what do you think? Vanilla Ride is everything that Hap and Leonard fans love about the series. It's funny as hell, there's breathtaking action, there's mood and careful attention to the details of the locations in the book. And as always with Lansdale, the characters rise above the simple stereotypes that might at first seem obvious.
The best things is that there is as much introspection and, dare I say it, philosophy in Vanilla Ride as there is violence and bawdy humor. Which is to say there is a great deal of it. The first person narration is always by Hap Collins, who constantly questions his own motives and impulses while his wisecracking exterior masks his inner turmoil.
This one is as tough and hard as any and Hap and Leonard face their deadliest (and sexiest) opponent yet in the enigmatic and beguiling Vanilla Ride.
Joe R. Lansdale has made a habit of bringing past characters back into his stories, much to the delight of his readers. Longtime Lansdale fans will be overjoyed to learn that Jim Bob Luke makes an extended appearance. And this reader holds out hope that we'll get to see Vanilla Ride again.
Hap and Leonard are officially back and it's up to the readers to help ensure that the series will continue. Publishing is a business like any other. If the books make money, more will probably come. Skip the library and don't wait for the paperback with this one. I don't want to wait eight more years for another ripping Hap and Leonard adventure.
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Thursday, June 11, 2009
 The poor Mummy. He's the red-headed-stepchild of the Universal Monsters. Dracula is sexier and more exotic. Frankenstein is also a reanimated body, but it's more gruesome how he was assembled from various body parts. Plus there's his striking appearance. The Wolf Man is steeped in European legend and he has that feral magnetism. The Invisible Man does those cool tricks, plus he could be standing right next to you and you wouldn't even know it. And the Creature/Gill Man is so damned cool-looking and he gets to chase beautiful women in bikinis to boot.
The Mummy is slow. He looks like a refugee from a rummage sale. He's not really based on legend or any classic literary source. Even though he was almost definitely inspired by Stoker's The Jewel of Seven Stars with a little bit of Arthur Conan Doyle's Lot Number 249 on the side.
But the most heinous indignity upon The Mummy is undoubtedly those ridiculous movies with Brendan Fraser. Those things only serve to fatten corrupt Hollywood swine and cheapen the memory of old Im Ho-Tep. The Mummy is like Rodney Dangerfield. Neither of them get any respect.
Except from me and other dinosaurs that love the old movies.
I always loved The Mummy. Simply because he is slow doesn't make him any less creepy. I remember as a kid, watching him drag that one leg. I remember shuddering like it was yesterday. I loved the Egyptian setting of the movie and how The Mummy is at least inspired by historical fact.
Despite how cool and awesome The Mummy is, he never got the motion picture deals that the others did. And I'm purposefully forgetting those recent abominations. The Mummy, made in 1932, did inspire several sequels. The Mummy's Hand, The Mummy's Tomb, The Mummy's Ghost and The Mummy's Curse all followed it, as did the obligatory Abbott and Costel lo farce. But The Mummy never got the superstardom that Dracula, The Wolf Man and Frankenstein enjoyed, with sequels, quasi-remakes and knock-offs continuing for decades to follow the classic monster years.
The Mummy did make cinematic appearances later. Hammer Studios did The Mummy in 1959, but it was one of their lesser Universal remakes. They attempted to make the monster scarier by making him faster, but it had the opposite effect on me. The same studio did a few unrelated and uninspired sequels, which do not rank among their better efforts.
Charlton Heston went up against a Mummy in 1980's The Awakening, but it induced more yawns than chills. The Mummy made an appearance in the much-beloved The Monster Squad, but he had a small part and was dispatched quickly. He was played for outrage and humor in Joe R. Lansdale's Bubba H0-Tep, which is probably the best Mummy movie since the very first one back in 1932.
Of course there have been numerous low budget Mummy movies over the years and few are worth mention.
And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention those wild Aztec Mummy movies with Ramón Ga, but they are a genre unto themselves.
 The Mummy hasn't had the greatest history in literature either. In fact I'm having a difficult time coming up with any, with the exception of Anne Rice's book, which makes the Stephen Sommers movies look good. A Mummy appeared in Randall Boyll's amazing Mongster, but that was mainly for ghoulish laughs. Charles L. Grant did write a lovely homage to The Mummy called The Long Night of the Grave. But there are few others.
In fact, I'd like to see one of today's horror fictions stars give us a big, fat monster of a Mummy novel. Maybe since Edward Lee is taking a stab at classic monsters, he will give it a try. I bet Brian Keene could deal out a whopper of one too. Or Ronald Kelly.
I'm sure I'm forgetting some great books, probably by my favorite authors. Movies too. If you can think of any, drop by the forum and let me know.
In the meantime, lets raise our glasses in toast to one of the greatest monsters in Horror. The Mummy.
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Sunday, May 24, 2009
 You come to this site because you're a horror fan, right? Maybe there are a few people here for reasons of curiosity, but Horror Drive-In is obviously a horror website. Maybe we lean a bit more toward fiction than film, but I love both of them. And I believe that the majority of the visitors here are the same.
I bet you love the Evil Dead movies? I know that I do. Even though I was initially disappointed in Army of Darkness, I've come to enjoy it. How often have we wished, prayed, that Raimi would return to his horror roots? I have. I know the man has seen unprecedented success with his Spider Man franchise, but I got sick of those movies very quickly. Like right after the first one.
I've already heard so-called horror fans criticizing Drag Me To Hell. With all the righteous indignation of ignorance. "It looks like more of the same thing", is a common one.
I'll admit that Drag Me To Hell doesn't appear to be a blazingly original story. But as we all should know, trailers can be misleading as hell. The movie looks to be an old fashioned, EC-type horror yarn. And what, exactly, is wrong with that? Personally, I don't require all horror movies to be like Martyrs. Ones that shock me and profoundly change the way I look at the genre. We need movies like that. But sometimes I simply like a good, fun time at the movies.
Another big complaint is that Drag Me To Hell doesn't have a hard R rating. Again, so what? What's wrong with a movie that kids can get into? Remember when you were young and you went to a scary movie that had less than an R rating and you had the time of your life? Drag Me To Hell could be that movie for thousands and thousands of burgeoning fans. The horror viewers, readers, of tomorrow. Hopefully this movie will reach the ones that are too hip for Twilight, yet are looking for a good scare.
They say that if you don't vote, you have no right to bitch about the way things are in politics and society. The same thing applies here. If you call yourself a horror fan and don't see Drag Me To Hell, don't gripe to me about how Hollywood movies suck. If we don't get out and speak with our dollars, we deserve all the remakes that are shoved down our throats.
Maybe Drag Me To Hell will suck. No one can say for sure until they actually see it. And please don't be a lemming and believe the negative hype that will almost surely be flying. Do you have a mind of your own? Do you always agree with the masses? I most assuredly do not.
You call yourself a horror fan. Prove it. Get out on opening weekend and see Drag Me To Hell. A matinee won't cost you that much. This is Sam Raimi's return to horror, for God's sake! Let's do our parts and make this movie a success.
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Sunday, May 10, 2009
I am. I have been for quite some time. They won't stay dead, in other words. I hate it when a once-cool subgenre becomes a glut. Remember vampires? Evil children? Indian burial grounds? Serial killers?
All of those were a lot of fun until a huge success or two got imitators running to follow up. And now it seems as if vampires are biting their way back into the forefront, no thanks whatsoever to Stephanie Meyer and her legion of teenage devotees.
I was in Borders today, looking over the Horror Section. I saw, along with the big names, a lot of vampire stuff, a ton of mostly small press zombie books. One had the striking title, Jailbait Zombie. I even saw a zombie pop-up book.
Brian Keene and the phenomenal success of The Rising is partially to blame, but you know what? He could write zombie novel after zombie novel and I have no doubt that the books would sell. Probably better than his other books do. But he at least continues to try to grow and challenge himself by trying new things.
The genre expands and then, not unlike the hoards of cannibalistic walking dead, eats itself. We all know that a drought follows a glut.
Please writers, give the zombies a break. For your readers' sake and also for the sake of your own careers. In the long run, I don't think you really want to be pigeonholed as a "Zombie Author".
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Saturday, April 25, 2009
I take tours through my past with the movies I watched. Books too, and music, but there's something about movies that make me extra nostalgic. Maybe it's the communal nature of watching them.
1989 was the end of the 80's. The end of innocence. Not to the world in whole; that has never been innocent. My innocence. Though I came up in the 70's, I feel a greater affinity to the 1980's.
It was the last gasp of the home video hysteria. Fewer were having movie parties. In the mid 80's, it seemed like everyone was having them. The VHS revolution had still been fresh. In time it was apparent who the faddists were and who were the genuine lovers of cinema.
Researching this, I see that I was becoming more selective in my viewing. I wasn't renting as many crappy direct-to-video productions with catchy titles. I was weaning off of a lot of studio fare as well. Looking over this list, I'm almost shocked to see that to date I have never watched some sequels of movies I loved, like Fletch and Ghostbusters. I couldn't gather any enthusiasm over them.
Not to say I didn't watch my share of turkey's as this will prove. Still, for various reasons I liked everything I put here. Even while I cringe at the memory of things like Martians Go Home, Star Trek 5 and C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the C.H.U.D. As bad as these movies are, I had a good time roasting them with friends in joyous pre-MST3K abandon.
Horror wasn't exactly healthy. This was the end of the Decade of Fear and few really good movies were released. The old standbys franchises were in need of serious overhauls: Friday the 13th 8: Jason Takes Manhattan, Halloween 5 and Nightmare On Elm Street 5 are arguably the worst of their respective series'. Craven tried to score another Freddy with Shocker, to the dismay of almost everyone. But Pet Semetery was a good adaptation of King's novel and was a financial success. Scott Speigel's Intruder and Cutting Class came in a little too late to cash in on the slasher wave. The cerebral Exorcist 3 was an amazing movie, but it failed to please those that wanted more flying pea soup. J.R. Bookwalter and Tony Elwood's Killer anticipated the underground movie frenzy that would come just a few years later.
Though I loved many movies of 1980, it was a weaker year than any other of the 80's. Moviegoers were in need of a change, which would come about shortly. But I have some true favorites, with Great Balls of Fire, Scenes From the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills, Santa Sangre and Crimes and Misdemeanors at the top of my list.
Everything changed in the 90's and I'll be back to chronicle them. Just don't expect it too soon. It's a lot of work to compile these lists and while I tried to be as complete as possible, I'm certain that I overlooked certain gems.
Without further ado...
The Abyss
A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child
After Midnight
Aisles of Doom
Assault of the Party Nerds
Back Street Jane
Back to the Future 2
Batman
Baxter
Beverly Hills Vamp
Beyond the Door III
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure*
Black Rain
Black Rainbow
Blaze*
Blind Fury
Bloodfist
Blue Steel
Born on the Fourth of July
Breaking In
Brothers in Arms
The 'burbs*
C.H.U.D. II - Bud the Chud
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Casualties of War
Cat Chaser
Chances Are
Chattahoochee
Christmas Vacation
Communion
Crimes and Misdemeanors*
Cutting Class
Cyborg
Dead Bang
Dead Calm
The Dead Next Door
Dead Poets Society
DeepStar Six
Disorganized Crime
Dream a Little Dream
Drugstore Cowboy
Edge of Sanity
The Exorcist III
Field of Dreams
Gnaw: Food of the Gods 2
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Great Balls of Fire!*
Gross Anatomy
Halloween 5
Headhunter
Heavy Petting
Hell High
Hollywood Boulevard II*
The Horror Show
I, Madman
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Intruder
Johnny Handsome
Kickboxer
Killer
Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects
Last Exit to Brooklyn*
Leningrad Cowboys Go America*
Lisa
Lock Up
Martians Go Home
Masque of the Red Death
Meet the Feebles
Mystery Train
New York Stories
No Such Thing As Gravity
Out of the Dark
Parenthood
Parents
Penn & Teller Get Killed*
Pet Sematary
The Phantom of the Opera
Psycho Cop
The Punisher
Puppetmaster
Red Scorpion
Relentless
The Return of Swamp Thing
Road House
Rude Awakening
Santa Sangre*
Savage Beach
Say Anything... *
Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills*
Sea of Love
Shocker
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland
Society
Sonny Boy*
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Stepfather II
Stripped to Kill II: Live Girls
The Terror Within
Think Big
True Believer
Twister
UHF*
The Unbelievable Truth*
Uncle Buck
Vice Academy
Warlock
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009
You might have already heard that the venerable science fiction media magazine, Starlog, has shut down its print magazine. The word is that this is a temporary situation and I hope that is true. Even though I've never purchased a copy of it, or for that matter, I've never held a copy of Starlog in my hands.
It makes me sad though, because the name, Starlog, brings me great nostalgia. The Starlog Group was and is the publisher of Fangoria, a magazine I've always loved.
Not so much now though. I guess I'm getting to be an old bastard, but the horror movie world no longer seems like home to me. Oh, I still adore scary movies, but for the most part I watch the older ones. The new fans and community seem alien to me. But that's for another column.
It's always sad when something as old as Starlog dies. The magazine began publishing in 1976. Created by periodical visionaries Kerry O'Quinn and Norman Jacobs, the premier issue featured Star Trek on its cover. It successfully ran for over three decades.
Starlog will continue as an online publication, but we all know that's not the same thing. E-Books, online magazines, etc be damned. There's nothing like holding the genuine article in your hands.
And you don't have to remind me that I publish fiction electronically here at Horror Drive-In. I know it's a half-assed way to do it. But for the time being at least, it's the only way I can get certain stories and authors out to the world.
As I previously noted, I've never been a Starlog reader, but the same thing could happen to any genre magazine. Fangoria, Rue Morgue, Video Watchdog, Shock Cinema, Videoscope and yes, even Cemetery Dance. Look back to demised treasures like The Twilight Zone Magazine, Cinefantastique, Film Threat Video Guide, Psychotronic. The cool little horror fiction magazine out there are struggling or dying.
There's only one way to prevent this: Subscribe. Subscribers are the lifeblood of magazines. Advertisers are critical, yes, but without subscribers there are no advertisers.
Don't let print magazines die in this plasticized, homogenized planet. We don't want to be stuck with Premier or Entertainment Weakly and their clones. Or getting all of our needs from the unhealthy light of these computers.
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Friday, April 10, 2009
India has been here with me for Spring Break all week. It's been a bittersweet occasion for me. It's always wonderful to see her, but I haven't really seen her much at all.
I was looking forward to having company on the trip back from NC to VA last Sunday, but she slept the entire time. We got here and she immediately wanted to go spend the night with her best friend. I hated it, but I'm not such an old fossil that I don't know how important friends are to teenagers.
I desperately wished I could have taken off more this week, but I have no vacation time and I need my full week's pay. Plus I'm working long days. I'm out the door at 5:30 AM and I'm not home until after 5 PM. So India ended up spending the nights with her friend from Sunday to Wednesday night.
I wanted her home, but if I insisted I would lose my 'Cool Dad' status. And we are cool parents. Tanya and I have taken the kids to rock shows and horror conventions. We like cool music and movies and things and we turn the kids on to wild stuff that they aren't likely to find anywhere else. India says her friends are jealous.
But I have off Fridays and I was stoked about last night. We were going to hit our favorite drive-in restaurant for cheeseburgers and fries and I wanted to take a long walk with her. That's one thing she and I always have done together.
I picked her up at around 4:30 yesterday afternoon and took her to the house, where she promptly went to sleep and she slept until 7:00 this morning. Obviously she and her friend weren't doing a lot of sleeping.
But today we'd walk and get breakfast and do some shopping! Walking was out however. Both India and I are allergic to pollen and the season is on us. We did have breakfast and went to some stores. I bought India a couple of books and a CD.
We came here and she wanted to go back to her friend's house. I know that I looked disappointed and India hugged me, but still wanted to go. I allowed her. Before she left she said I was the best father ever. I smiled and asked what made me so good (I was feeling sorry for myself). She said, For all the love, for the humor, for always being there, for providing and perhaps most of all, for teaching her to love books. India adores reading and most of her friends don't. She feels sorry for them.
I'm so happy that I've been able to pass on the legacy of reading to my kids. Europa loves to read too. I'm grateful that I've been able to pass on the wonder, the passion, the marvels of the printed word.
I'm lonely for India and I wish we were spending more time together, but you have to let teenagers be teenagers. Their friends are so important to them. It hurts, but it's natural.
Tomorrow I'll be driving India back to Raleigh and there's no doubt in my mind that she'll sleep during the entire trip. All I can do is sadly chuckle.
Note: I assume that everyone here is familiar with my situation and that's almost certainly wrong. For the curious, India is my stepdaughter. I met her mother at DragonCon '99 and we were married the following year. We had a tragic separation in early November 2008 and they moved to another state. We're now working toward a reconciliation.
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